Parenting Love
 |
| Communication is the Key |
Discover
Your Kids Love Language
As a substitute teacher in the public school system and a Sunday school teacher for Christ, I have dealt with many people particularly teenagers and young adults. Discovering the primary love language of teenagers is not as easy as discovering the primary love language of younger kids. I love teaching middle school student but sometimes this is not always an enjoyable journey.
Moody Teens
Most teenagers are in the state of imbalance for many years. Some days these emotional instabilities are more intense than at other times. These teens are unpredictable in how they will behave, react and respond to different situations on a daily basis. These teenagers response is greatly influenced by their moods, and these moods are constantly fluctuating very often in throughout the day. This is the transition stage; attitude can quickly change, often driven by changing emotions. Desire also fluctuates greatly.
Independent Teens
Developing sense of independence is another reason parents and teachers like me find it difficult to determine teenager’s primary love language. We all witness this reality several times where kids in their adolescence, breaking away from parents and establishing their own personal identity. They are no longer known as their parents’ child. They are trying to establish an identity apart from their mom and dad.
Withdrawing or Angry Teens
Often it seems like teenagers draws back from all expressions of love, don’t get mushy, you are embarrassing me; however, many times they are drawn away from parental love because of unresolved anger between teen and parent. Also, teen inconsistent moods, thoughts and desires, emerging independence and developing self-identity.
Finding Your Kids Love Language
Finding kids love language can be a challenging but expert have suggested 3 simple steps to figure out kids primary love language.
Ask Questions
Communication is the key. You must ask questions if you want to know what is going on inside your kids’ heads. You will be very surprised how responsive teens can be if you are persistently ask questions, make him or her feel safe and comfortable in conversing. Questions might be your greatest weapon in discovering your teen’s primary love language.
Make Observation
Consciously observe the behavior of your kids, Identify ways in which he or she expresses love and appreciation to people. Documents what you observe and implement them. And that brought me to my last step.
Experiment
Spend time on a daily basis coming up with different new expressions of affirmation that would encourage your teens. Spend time giving him or her physical touches than normal, fix his or her special meal, complete his or her shores and give extra help on math assignments.
Love is our most basic emotional need; teens tend to response more with love than anger and frustration.
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Anger by Gary Chapman
The Five Language of Apology by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas
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